you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
