So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
