What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
