You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My vagina is officially offended.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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