break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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