i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
