how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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