"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
