grandma shit on top of the toilet
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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