Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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