***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Enjoy the penises
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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