I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
