You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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