i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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