i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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