hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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