So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
