Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just cropdusted the office
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
