ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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