Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
