Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
