new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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