I have demons in me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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