so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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