but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
