I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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