The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
