we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
where are you?
Hypothermia
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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