The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
