Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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