The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
