My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
