Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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