if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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