i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
