why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
