Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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