i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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