Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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