I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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