OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
