no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
