she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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