Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I wear drunk well.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
