I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Randomize
