Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
