SEEEEXXX PLEASE
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
