I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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