Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
