ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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