he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
